I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
