Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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