Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
