Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
