what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
