He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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