No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
