Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
