no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
