We won't sleep together?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
