whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
