Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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