to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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