Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
