Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
