the new term for farting is butt boxing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
