At least make sure they are 18
Why
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
