dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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