Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
