It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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