i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
