I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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