Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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