Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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