Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
