HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
