ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
