this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
