so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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