ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Shame - the story of my life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
