windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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