Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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