better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
