I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
