hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
In America we eat man semen.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
