U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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