a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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