Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
