A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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