Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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