I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
