Small penises have feelings too.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
