apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
