I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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