Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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