SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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