I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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