I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
