so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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