The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she peed on how many people?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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